The trouble with romance

Writing about murder is easy compared to writing about love.

Just turn on the TV and you’ll see what humans are capable of doing to each other. Rape, murder, and abuse are all over the news, but you never hear about the good stuff. Hardly ever do you hear about what humans are doing for each other.

So how do we find love and companionship through all the carnage?

Let’s face it, we’re all damaged goods, tarnished in some way. That’s what makes us human. Nobody is perfect and nobody has lived a perfect life. Everyone has a story, everyone has a past, and everyone has baggage.

In a negative world and with all this excess baggage how do we find each other?

How do we find love while wading through life with all this extra weight?

As a writer how do you bring two conflicted people together?

I’m still trying to figure this out. Thankfully, the human spirit is resilient. Somehow we find a way. Somehow my characters will find a way too.

13 thoughts on “The trouble with romance

  • I have no clue. I have no trouble throwing rocks at my characters, but when I try to get them together to play nice it always feels forced or just . . . weird. Probably just my own cynical nature creeping into my writing. I’m trying to work on that. I know sometimes you have to listen to your characters, that when it feels wrong it probably is. They don’t want to get together that way. But when it’s always like that? Yeah, that probably says more about me than them. 🙂

  • I can’t give you any advice on this subject. I’m sure you’ll get some great advice from others who’ll be stopping in here.

    It is much easier to write about other facets of being human. I KNOW you’ll find the answers you’re seeking somewhere, somehow.

    Best wishes to you.

    • The news and real life throws us story ideas everyday. The world is full of interesting characters. If only those characters were kinder to each other.
      I’ll find the answers I just need to let it come and stop forcing it.

      Thanks, Shaddy!

  • I have no trouble writing the romance part because I’m a dreamer. Then again, I have no trouble writing the misunderstandings, the squabbles, the heartbreak either because, like you said, that’s real life. I do have trouble with NOT letting things work out in the end, though, again, because I’m a dreamer.

    Murder and mayhem are hard for me because I get so deeply into the story as I write and I’m just not so much into depressive states nowadays. 🙂

    Good luck on letting your characters work it out!

    • Once the romance has started I don’t really have trouble. It’s getting them together when they are already so conflicted. It’s hard to do it and make it sound real.
      I keep saying to myself, “if this were me, I would run for the hills”, you know what I mean.
      How do you make a woman trust a man when she is wholly untrusting and scared?
      I keep thinking I can change her. Make her more trusting, but she doesn’t work that way. I can’t change her, I just need to convince her.
      I’ll figure it out eventually, but it’s nice to be able to vent on my blog.

  • I can see where romance would be challenging. From my perspective I have a difficult time putting feelings into words. And an especially hard time conveying how that initial attraction progressed to love. I don’t think I’d ever take on the task of writing romance.

    • I have certainly had to work at putting those feelings into words. Especially with making it supper corny in and drugstore-category-romance-novel sort of way.
      I think you could write romance, only you would specialize in one of two kinds. Either historical or futuristic… 🙂

  • I feel like if I understood it better for my own life, I would write it better in my characters. But as it is, I am AWFUL at writing romance…I am glad you are undertaking it, though! 😀

    • Oh, I don’t know. You seem to have a pretty happy love affair with your husband. 🙂
      That’s experience enough.

      Oh, and I may be awful at writing romance too. The jury is still out.

      • No, I like what you write!! I want to read more…

        I do love my hubs and he’s great…but I have a hard time writing happy ending stories. It’s really pathetic, I know.

  • This was meant to be a reply to Michelle but it’s late and I’m tired. 🙂

    I have trouble making trouble. I just want everyone to get along. Of course that doesn’t make for an interesting story. 🙂

    I just need that hook to get them together while still being maintaining their flaws. I’ll keep working on it. It will come if I just stop trying so hard.

  • Ha. What do I know. I’m writing a love story now. It’s a love story between a house and a tree.

    So obviously I don’t know either.

    And getting the kind of conflicts that make life and your characters interesting and likable enough to even have a love story is pretty challenging. But I think you’re doing a decent job with it, Dayner.

    On the road, one more killer work day then I head home on Friday. Later…

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