Dear Dayner,

This is a writing prompt I found on Writer’s Digest.com.

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You return home from work to find a Dear John letter on your kitchen table. Oddly enough, it’s from one of your favorite pieces of furniture. What does the letter say?

500 words or less

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Dear Dayner,

I’m sure by now you’ve noticed my absence from the family room. I hope my empty place remains as a reminder of what we’ve both lost. Your bum has left permanent dents in my beautiful surface and kept me warm for several years. But everything changed the day you switched from TV watcher to writer. For almost two years I’ve had to endure the silence as you sat across the room in your new desk with that computer. You, Dayner, tap away new stories and keep them a secret teasing me with an occasionally word or two accidentally spoken a loud.

What’s a chair to do when it’s been neglected and left empty? I miss our evenings together and the popcorn eating. You used to read in me daily and now I’m only left for guests or the rowdy children who are too small to keep me warm. Oh and the SpongeBob cartons—I miss our love stories. I used to comfort you when they made you cry. Now it’s only square pants and crabby patties.

Ours was once one of those great love stories but our lovely twosome has been broken. I can no longer endure the betrayal and live as your second favorite. Great love affairs often end. When your tears short-circuit that ridicules keyboard then you’ll come looking for my supple leather for support. Next summer when the California days get hot you’ll miss the coolness of my touch I promise. And where will you sit when you need to lay back and rest your head? Well… C’est la vie, lover.

I cannot take the constant slight of your attention. I cannot watch you move on without me. The torture is more than I can bear.

Therefore I have gone, never to return. I left you with my ottoman to remind you of the life and relationship we once shared. I’m also leaving behind the unused and also slighted television remote. I’m hopeful the two of you can still work things out before disaster happens.

It’s only a matter of time before the others give up too, leaving you with nothing but your hard wooded desk and that beloved laptop.

Remember me with love.

Sincerely,

Your ex favorite chair

5 thoughts on “Dear Dayner,

  • HA! Funny stuff. I bet the recliner on my end of the couch is saying the same thing. (Yes, we have his and hers ends of the couch.)

    This was a fun prompt. When I finish my assignment for the week, I believe I will give a go at it. I know my overburdened bookcase has a few things it would like to say.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  • kathanink

    LOL – this was so funny and adorable. I nearly bust a gut when I read: “I left you with my ottoman to remind you of the life and relationship we once share. I’m also leaving behind the unused and also slighted television remote. I’m hopeful the two of you can still work things out before disaster happens.”

    Thanks for the romantic comedy…!

  • Once I stop laughing I’ll be able to respond to this. What a great story! Such pathos! Such emotion! Such lumbar support!

  • Yes–oh my goodness–it is so dramatic. heh heh heh.
    I had a lot of fun writing this. I’m so deep into editing Dangerous Embrace I needed a break and this is the result from that break. It was definitely less painful then pulling my hair out.

  • What a hilarious perspective! You spoke for your abandoned chair brilliantly!

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