Surprise, surprise, I’m still reworking chapter one.
The truth is, I’ve made more work for myself, because now I have two versions that need help.
The first version is what I posted on CC for critique then edited. I added several details and a short description of Sarah’s surroundings. I also added some hints about her past.
After finishing this edit, I put it aside hoping for some distance before re-posting on CC.
The problem is, I’m impatient.
Enter—the second version. It’s an experiment, so bear with me here.
Over the last year I’ve spent hours researching and reading stories written by rape survivors. I found one underlying similarity to these stories. The ‘out of body’ experience. Almost every victim seemed to mentally separate their minds from their physical bodies as if their survival depended on it.
I’ve known this all along, but I never attempted to write it because Sarah escapes her attacker. I wanted to show her strength by having her fight off the rapist. (This also leads into more conflict in later chapters.)
But—as I sat impatiently waiting to get the distance I needed from chapter one, I couldn’t resist the challenge.
I rewrote it. Of course I rewrote it! Only I’m not sure my idea translated well to the page. I spent nearly 12 hours working on it Saturday until my brain was completely fried. On Sunday, I opened the file to find nothing but crap.
I spent so much time on it, it looked like a piece of Darksculptures road kill—before she made a lovely stew out of it.
Not having anyone to bounce ideas off of made me crazy. My teenage daughters ran from me every time I looked in their direction and my husband nodded obediently and pretended to listen. He even offered a couple of helpful questions occasionally like “Is she dead?” but nothing really concrete.
At one point it read as if Sarah was dead. Then she never seemed to wake from unconsciousness. When I had her wake from unconsciousness, then into this ‘out-of-body’ experience it was too abrupt and transitioned too fast. To make a long story short, I slaughtered it completely.
My intention was to get closer to Sarah while getter further away from the crime, hoping to add some emotion
So…back to my blues. Should I keep trying? Or just post my edited version on CC and see what happens. I’m not sure how to add the effect of an out-of-body experience and a successful escape. I’m also not sure how to have her get knocked unconscious, then wake, then have an out-of-body experience, then escape.
I think I need distance from my distance! 😉